Well, I was feelin' sad and feelin' blue, I didn't know what in the world I was gonna do, Them Communists they wus comin' around, They wus in the air, They wus on the ground.
They wouldn't gimme no peace. . .
So I run down most hurriedly
And joined up with the John Birch Society, I got me a secret membership card
And started off a-walkin' down the road.
Yee-hoo, I'm a real John Bircher now! Look out you Commies! Now we all agree with Hitlers' views, Although he killed six million Jews.
It don't matter too much that he was a Fascist, At least you can't say he was a Communist! That's to say like if you got a cold you take a shot of malaria.
Well, I wus lookin' everywhere for them gol-darned Reds.
I got up in the mornin' 'n' looked under my bed, Looked in the sink, behind the door, Looked in the glove compartment of my car.
Couldn't find 'em . . .
I wus lookin' high an' low for them Reds everywhere, I wus lookin' in the sink an' underneath the chair.
I looked way up my chimney hole, I even looked deep inside my toilet bowl.
They got away . . . Well, I wus sittin' home alone an' started to sweat, Figured they wus in my T.
V. set.
Peeked behind the picture frame, Got a shock from my feet, hittin' right up in the brain.
Them Reds caused it! I know they did . . . them hard-core ones.
Well, I quit my job so I could work alone, Then I changed my name to Sherlock Holmes.
Followed some clues from my detective bag
And discovered they wus red stripes on the American flag! That ol' Betty Ross . . .
Well, I investigated all the books in the library, N
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